Horses & Frustration - A lesson from my horse

March 17, 2025•2 min read

I don’t know about you but I think my horses have caused me to go through every emotion there is 😃🤪😤😭🤯🤬😱😂

One minute "I love my horse, she’s the best!" 💕 the next minute "My horse is driving me mad" 😈

Over the years my mare Arielle has been the one to frustrate me the most! Before I go any further I must say that I adore this horse 💙 We have been together for over 25 years so I think it’s fair to say that we are a bit like an old, married couple 😂

Unlike some of my other horses Arielle is very easy going and in no way could you describe her as difficult however she is not one of life’s volunteers.

She is and always has been ‘hard to motivate’ 😴

Arielle is an amazing teacher 💕 she will stay calm no matter what you throw at her, she absolutely will not respond if you try to bully her (in fact she just digs her heels in more and gets less responsive 😶). She will only do what you want when you ask her correctly 😇

I am an ambitious person by nature (more on that in another post) and am always looking to do more so Arielle’s relaxed outlook on life could easily frustrate me. I often had to work very hard to control my own emotions 🤬 and yes, sometimes I failed which would make me feel very guilty 😩 I have cried tears thinking that I would never be able to canter a circle on her 😭

It took a while but eventually I realised that the times when I got frustrated were the times when I was starting something new with Arielle and I didn’t have all the pieces yet. Basically I just didn’t know how I was going achieve it, either...

⛔️ because I hadn’t taken the time to break it down into pieces that she could understand 1️⃣ + 1️⃣ = 2️⃣

or...

⛔️ because I didn’t know all the pieces myself 🤷‍♀️

Being frustrated just meant I didn’t know how to solve the problem... Yet!

Once I worked out how to break the task down, I would have a step-by-step plan ✅ of how I was going to achieve what I wanted to do and I could just get on with it. Easier for me and Arielle 👍 Once she learnt something this way I could always rely on it to be there, she’s clever like that 🤓

Lesson from Arielle - "Frustration starts where knowledge ends"

I don't know who said it but, oh my goodness, they are so right.

If you’re frustrated, keep looking for answers, you’re right on the point of solving the problem ☺️🦄💕

Lyla Cansfield

Lyla has been helping riders and their horses in the UK, USA and Europe for over 15 years. She has prepared horses for crowds of over 6,000 people with no calmers or ear plugs for venues including Birmingham NEC, Aintree, Bury Farm EC and Hartpury. Lyla specialises in horse psychology and behaviour problems with a specific interest in dressage and has worked with horses from grass roots to Grand Prix across the UK and Europe including international competitors and Olympians from Spain, the US, Canada and the UK. Before trying any training technique it is important to rule out pain or discomfort. Saddle fit, teeth, back, hoof balance and lameness issues should all be checked by a qualified professional before applying any training. All training techniques discussed are from experience only, it is impossible for to accurately advise on horse/rider combinations without seeing them. Lyla Cansfield & Equine Mind & Body Training strongly advise anyone considering using any of the techniques discussed to get help and can take no responsibility for the outcome of applying any of the techniques discussed with or without supervision. Riding is a high risk sport.

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